posts 24-29

Day Twenty-Four- How do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia
- i feel like it is a meager term trying in vain to describe an entire thought process that changes from person to person. what we are is ineffable.

Day Twenty-Five- Have you ever purged? If you have describe your first experience.
- i've never thrown up but i have been quite active with laxies. the first time i used laxies, i was amazed at how easy it was to shed 7 lbs in a matter of minutes. at my worst i was taking 3 times the recomended dose. it doesn't work, you gain back all of the weight the next time you eat or drink. and you get bloated. i haven't used them in 4 months or so.

Day Twenty-Six- What excites you most about reaching your ugw?
- being beautiful. i want to turn heads and be loved. plain and simple.

Day Twenty-Seven- How do you deal with being around food?
- i talk to myself. i coach myself through eating it or not. i weigh calories, apparent healthyness and my earlier eating from the day.

Day Twenty-Eight- Do you want that “gap” between your legs? Why?
- i would love to have one, but i don't need it. i just want a slender waist and a pretty face, i sound really shallow but i want to be that really pretty bitch that all the girls love but envy. but i don't want skeletal thiness. just tinyness.

Day Twenty-Nine- Your definition of beauty.
- independant personality, loosely braided long hair, dark, expressive eyes, pink lips, slouchy clothes.

ok, ok, i'm almost done with band. i'll post better when i'm done next week.
Love,
Elle